You have seen this post. Five ways to increase your mental health. Sleep, eat well, exercise, connect with people, blah blah blah. You know the drill. Follow all the rules about how to be a good health-conscious citizen and certainly impeccable mental health will follow, guaranteed. (Narrator: it is not guaranteed at all.)
But what if it was not your mental health but that of the community’s that you were trying to increase? Try these.
One. Increase the amount of inconsequential words you speak in a day. The number of words we speak in a day has gone down. Mostly, it seems, we have not lost meaningful words as much as we have lost everyday random encounters. This means that people have much less access to practice social connection in situations that feel safe because they are not important. It’s easier to not care if your voice sounds funny if you are saying hello to a rando getting on the same bus than when it is your crush. So speak a little more every day when than feels comfortable. Say good morning when you arrive to that bus stop. Ask for directions or the time instead of taking out your phone. Compliment a stranger on their choice of a shirt. Not because this is somehow “connection” or “community” – those things take more. But because it lets people practice.
Two. Let people help. When someone asks “do you need help with that” don’t jump into saying no, no, it’s no trouble, I got it. Even if you got it, let them help. Helping people is a good mood boost like few others. Give it to them.
Three. If a situation feels hurried or tense, but there is no actual immediate danger, slow down and release control. Don’t try to hurry it along or quickly fix it. Let it be. Likely it will fix itself, and if it does not, you have at least not made it worse, and you can still try and solve it.
Four. Everyone has quite enough random thoughts in their own head. No one needs more unfiltered random thoughts from other people. Filter what you share, don’t just re-toot everything that feels cool. Consider your audience – will they think this is cool? Be mindful of their time, too. Is this really a thing you want to add to their already busy heads day? And no, it is not “raising awareness” when you post a new detail about something everyone pretty much knows about already.
Five. Never make fun of someone when they change their mind for the better. If your child tells you he has realized he needs to work more for his math grade, don’t roll your eyes and point out that’s what you’ve been saying all school year, ask them how you can help. When someone post on social media that what’s happening in Palestine is genocide and that’s actually not considered good, or that maybe they should not have voted for Trump after all, don’t repost that saying “now they notice, lol”. Let them quietly slip on the side of good guys and let the past lie. No one likes to be reminded about the sins of their youth.
(Now if I could just remember to take my own advice!)